Criminal
by Tono Radish
Summary: Levi has found himself falling in love, an act he believes to be criminal.


**Here's a nice, peaceful, one shot to kill the stress of everyday life.**

It's not supposed to happen like this. I'm not supposed to catch myself watching him. I'm not supposed to stop him from hurting himself. I'm not supposed to have mixed feelings about beating him senseless. He's just a boy, a would be soldier. So why do I find myself giving him extra attention, worrying about him, relishing in his touch, dreaming about him. I'm well into however old I am, he's just starting out. The idea of it is criminal. I know that just thinking about it makes me a criminal, and somehow I can't stop myself.

When I met him he was so afraid, and when I looked into his eyes, he shocking green eyes, I found myself afraid as well. I had never felt like this. I had never wanted to possess anything more in my life, I wanted to protect him. I wanted those piercing green eyes on me, only me. But that was wrong. He's just another brat, that's all I could tell myself. So I walked out and kicked him, I kicked him half to death, I kicked out one of his teeth. It felt horrible. Why couldn't it be anyone else? They let him go after that, and I asked him if he hated me… No, he didn't. He told me that he didn't hate me, and I only hated myself more after that. How could I have deserved to meet such a person? He wasn't even afraid of me. I was like a hero to him. I had to live up to that.

I did a little check on him and his background. I found out a lot of dark things from his past. Things that made me wonder how he could smile a million watts. Things that made me wonder how those eyes could be so alive. He lit a spark inside of me. I thought, maybe I could act as a father. I couldn't help but slap myself at the idea; I could never be anyone's "dad." Instead I decided to be his mentor and guide him. It was all I could do. If I had the strength I would have avoided him and ignored him and found some way to stop thinking about him. But in the end humanity's strongest couldn't even find the will to do the right thing and make the boy into just another subordinate. This boy called Eren has bewitched me body and soul. And the fact that I have allowed myself to even indulge in such a fruitless dream, well, that is criminal.

There are many reasons why I should not be in love with this boy. For one thing: he's a boy. Sex aside, he hasn't had very much experience with the world and what kind of monster would that make me if I took advantage of that? Was he really so naïve? His mother died before his eyes, his father turned him into a titan, the whole world looks down on him as something less that human. He's only a brat, he shouldn't know of those things now. Yes, he is a brat. He can't clean up after himself, he eats like a slob, he cries all the time, he never uses his head, and yet I find myself not minding. I have to actively try to be repulsed by him, but even then I am nothing short- nothing less than attracted to him.

_You better finish what you started._

I always find myself saying that to him as of late. Finish cleaning. Finish stretching. Finish eating. Finish off that titan. I'm finished. I'm done with him. How can he go on like there's nothing between us? It's easy. Because to him there is nothing between us. Our relationship is completely one sided and he has the upper hand. My glare is hard and cold because he is always smiling. He smiles for everyone, but I want him only to smile for me. I want to excite him as he excites me. Without being aware of it he has become my entire world. I should kick him for his stupidity. I should beat him senseless or at least until my senses have returned. But I can't. I know I can't. He's to precious to me. That was why I couldn't keep myself calm when he got hurt. Under my watch he was hurt. I let him get hurt. The sheer act of any harm coming to him is criminal.

He was sleeping in the infirmary. It was late, and this was his first night outside of his cell in a long time. I bet he was enjoying himself in a normal bed. Everyone else had gone now; it was he and I alone. How cruel the world is to have put me in this situation. I watched his chest rise and fall. For a moment, it stopped. Was he not breathing? I reached for him to check, but his chest began to rise and fall again. My hand remained in the air close to him.

Can I touch him? Would it really be okay for me to touch him like this? I looked around the room and saw no one. I looked at his sleeping face and I gently pushed the hair out of his eyes. His eyes should never have to close; they're such a beautiful green. Color aside, it was the fire behind closed eye lids that originally drew me to him. I touched his soft face, holding it gently in my hand and leaned down. It was slow, and my eyes began to close as I felt his soft breath escape his slightly parted lips. Our lips almost met when I stopped. I was less than an inch away now, less than a centimeter, I was so close but no matter what I found myself unable to reach him. I could not kiss Eren. I'm his captain, and I'm so much older than him. That sort of thing, the thing I want more than anything in this apocalyptic world… is criminal.

I sat back up, and stood up. I had to leave before I actually did something. I couldn't allow myself to get carried away with my emotions. I never let them show so why act on them? I looked at my hand, remembering how he felt. I remembered his soft skin and warmth. I could feel myself soaking it in as we touched. For a moment I wasn't cold or angry, it was as if at long last I had found a way to soak in the sun's radiance. I laughed at the thought that I had gone soft. And then I felt something lightly tug on my cape. I turned around and was met by a pair of green eyes lit with a flame.

"You better finish what you started."

**Oh oh god! That's it everyone! Yay one shots! In case you didn't guess, Eren was talking about the kiss. I love writing narrative one shots. I really love them. Thank you! Review!**


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